I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize