The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
