Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
