We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
