He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
