Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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