I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
