I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
