last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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