fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wear drunk well.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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