After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
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My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
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