Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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