The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o