Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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