You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
worst night to have a conscience
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead