he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize