"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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