Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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