I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
