Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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