Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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