Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
