R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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