how can u be prego again
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
