my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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