for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I came so hard my ears popped.
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