So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize