Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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