was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
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