Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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