life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
