That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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