Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
