Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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