I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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