I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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