he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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