Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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