I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
