don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
