ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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