Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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