she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I pour the whiskey from now on
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize