Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you traded sex for a burrito?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
