I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
it was like eating out sand paper
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
