Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
