i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
