you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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