If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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