Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
