no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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