I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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