i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
