Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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