Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
