My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
