I CAN MOONWALK!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
