you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
