Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
