One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
